Bleach The Musical!
by Syamora
Summary: Yoruichi and Urahara put on a musical. All captains and vicecaptains are participating. And of course, Ichigo, Orihime, and Ishida.


**Chapter One**

_Shock and Surprises_

* * *

It was a calm, peaceful day in Soul Society, albeit rather hot, and all were going about their work peacefully.

"TAAAAAAAAAAAAICHOUU! I don't want to do this stupid paperwork! Why do you love it so much anyway?! I can't _stand_ it! Why don't you do mine if you like it so much?!?"

Well. Almost everyone. Hitsugaya gave his vice-captain an annoyed look before going on with his piles of paperwork. "You don't even have that much. Just finish it, will you?"

Suddenly the occupants of the Seireitei heard a crackling sound. Then a sudden loud voice made them all jump-

"Captains, please meet me outside the Seireitei coffee shop. Immediately."

Hitsugaya looked at Matsumoto. "You'd better be finished when I come back." He left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Matsumoto rolled her eyes. "_You'd better be finished when I come back,_" she mimicked in a high voice. "Yeah right." She, too, left the room—to head to the nearest bar.

Outside the coffee shop, muttering could be heard among the captains.

"I was almost done with my work."

"Nanao-chan was going to give me a foot rub…"

"She was? I didn't know she would do something like that."

"Well… she would have, if I could have gotten her to consent to it. I wonder why she was swinging that bat around near my face when I asked her?"

"I didn't even know we _had_ a coffee shop here…"

"Okay, silence, _silence_!" Yoruichi clapped her hands to get the attention of the captains. "We're gathered here today to discuss a very important event that's coming up in a few months."

"When'd you come back to Soul Society anyway?" muttered Hitsugaya, looking over at Yoruichi and Urahara, who had been taking a break in the human world.

"That's irrelevant," boomed Urahara in a commanding voice. "Please, go on, Yoruichi-san."

"Ahem, yes. As I was saying, we are putting on a musical!" Yoruichi smiled widely, especially at _certain_ captains.

"How idiotic," Hitsugaya muttered. Byakuya was looking at Yoruichi in shock. Kenpachi was muttering under his breath, his hand fingering the hilt of his sword.

"And _all_ the captains and vice-captains are participating," added Urahara. "_Whether they like it or not."_

More muttering followed this statement.

"Our first meeting will be held--"

"Wait a second… wait. You didn't even tell us what this, um, _musical_ will be about anyway," said Unohana. "Or anything else about it, really."

"Ah. _That_," said Yoruichi, "is for me to know… and for you to find out." A broad, devilish grin spread across her face. The other captains just stared. "I've never seen you smile like that," commented Urahara, a rather intimidated look on his own face. "Ah- thank you," said Yoruichi. Urahara sweat-dropped.

"As I was saying," continued Yoruichi, "the first meeting will be held next week at this time. Please inform your vice-captains. And have your work done by then—the rehearsals may take a couple hours. Or more." And with the broad grin still plastered across her face, she waved and trotted away from the coffee shop, pulling Urahara behind her.

The captains looked at each other, then quietly dispersed into the gradually darkening night to tell their vice-captains the news_.  
_

* * *

_In 10__th__ division…_

Hitsugaya opened the door again and went inside. "Matsumoto!"

No answer.

"……_Matsumoto!"_

Silence.

". . . .MATSUMOTO!!"

Hitsugaya stormed back out of the door in search of his vice-captain_.  
_

* * *

_In 11__th__ division…_

Kenpachi didn't have to open the door. Yachiru thrust it open upon his arrival, and promptly jumped on him, clinging to his hair.

"Ken-chan, Ken-chan, what did you do at the coffee shop? Did you bring me coffee? Did youuu?"

"…Yachiru, you don't need coffee. You have an eternal battery. Anyway, we didn't even go in…"

Yachiru looked disappointed. "Oh. Well then- what did you do there?" she asked eagerly.

"Yoruichi-san and Urahara-san met us there. We're, ah… putting on a _musical_." He said the last word with a certain amount of distaste.

Yachiru immediately brightened, a wide, happy grin spreading across her face. She shook Kenpachi's hair excitedly, its bells jingling so hard that they were in danger of flying off. Kenpachi put a hand up to steady her hands, sighing.

"A musical, a musical! Do I get to play the princess? Pleaseee?"

"I don't know. I don't even know what it's about."

"Oh. Well, I want to play the princess…"

Kenpachi sighed again. _It's going to be a long night.  
_

* * *

_In 12__th__ division…_

Mayuri entered his laboratory, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Nemu."

"…"

"_Nemu._"

"Haaaa….i. Coming," said a small voice from somewhere in the depths. Nemu appeared in front of him, taking tentative steps closer.

"Yoruichi and Urahara are putting on a… _musical._" He, too, said this word with distaste. "You are expected to attend. Rehearsals begin next week. Now go back to work." He showed as little emotion as he could—as always.

Nemu bowed her head and turned back to her papers, though inwardly she was more than thankful for this break_.  
_

* * *

_In the real world..._

Yoruichi and Urahara had returned to Urahara's shop and were proceeding to find Ichigo and tell him the news.

-_flashback-_

'_We're forcing—I mean, inviting all the captains and vice-captains to participate, right?' said Yoruichi._

'_Of course,' replied Urahara._

'_Then why not get Mr. Orange Hair and his friends to come too?'_

'…_Your call.'_

_-end flashback-_

So the two were on his way to Ichigo's house, although they had no idea how they would get to him without alerting his parents to the arrival of an odd-looking "sandal-hat man" and his cat.

"Look," said Yoruichi, pointing a paw up. "There's his window. Think you could throw me up?" she asked, glancing at Urahara.

"…Okay…." Urahara looked up. "Is the window even _open?_"

"Of course, of course. Just do it, will you?"

Urahara stepped around to the side of the house, staring uneasily at the window before launching Yoruichi into the air. She flew up several meters and smacked into the window- which was, to her dismay, closed. She slid down, falling back into Urahara's hands.

Urahara stared down at her. "Ano…"

"I'm okay, I'm okay. I think he saw me, look." She pointed again, looking up at the window. Ichigo was opening it. He stuck his head out.

"Oi… What're you doing _here_?" he hissed. "I thought you were in Seireitei."

Yoruichi leaped up happily. "Ichigo, Ichigo! We're putting on a—" Urahara quickly covered her mouth with his hand, looking around. "_Yoruichi,_" he whispered, "shut up. We don't want people thinking that cats can talk."

He turned his head up to face Ichigo, whose orange head was still thrust out the window. "Um, as she was saying, the captains and vice-captains in Seireitei are putting on a musical. And we wanted to know if you cared to join."

"………" Ichigo withdrew his head and slammed the window shut.

Yoruichi clawed at Urahara's hand until he removed it, wincing in pain. "ICHIGO! THE FIRST MEETING IS NEXT WEEK! GET YOUR FRIENDS— _what were their names again?_" she whispered to Urahara, who whispered their names back—"ANO, ORIHIME AND ISHIDA TO COME!"

Ichigo stuck his head out again. "Do I even have a choice?" he said with a sweat drop.

"No," replied Yoruichi, smiling. She leapt lightly down from Urahara's hands and padded off, Urahara waving and following her.

* * *

_Author's Note- _This is my first story, accounting for some of the awkwardness. Please read & review- I promise I'll update if you do ;D 


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